Wolfy Nostalgia Post of the Week
According to Newton's third law of motion, and I'm paraphrasing here, for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. With that thought in mind, the universe requires a reaction to the Moon Blog "Settlers of Catan Life Analogy of the Week".
To counteract the horror that is those posts I will be scouring our old blog archives and selecting one post a week to share.
The first selection comes from the creator of Observe the Ownage. My favorite chode dragger, señor Baggins. All the way back from October of 2005.
Little Red Riding Fish
Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Kwicky who lived in a village called Louisville. Whenever he went out, the little boy wore a red fisherman's jacket, so everyone in the city called him Little Red Riding Fish. One morning, Little Red Riding Fish asked his mother if he could go to visit this girl he had met online.
"That's a good idea," his mother said. So they packed a nice basket for Little Red Riding Fish to take to this girl.
When the basket was ready, the little boy put on his red jacket and kissed his mother goodbye.
"Remember, go straight to Catie's house," his mother cautioned. "Don't dawdle along the way and please don't talk to strangers! The city is dangerous."
But when Little Red Riding Fish noticed a poker game being played along the way, he forgot his promise to his mother. He played a few hands, had a beer and a shot, and played a few more.
Little Red Riding Fish was owning the game so hardcore, that he didn't notice a dark shadow approaching out of the corner behind him...
Suddenly, the Wolf appeared beside him.
"What are you doing out here, little boy?" the wolf asked in a voice as friendly as he could muster.
"I'm on my way to see a new prospect who lives in Denver," Little Red Riding Fish replied.
Then he realized how late he was and quickly excused himself, rushing down the road to Catie's house.
The Wolf, in the meantime, took a shortcut...
A few minutes later, Red Riding Fish knocked on the door. The Wolf jumped into bed and pulled the covers over his nose. "Who is it?" he called in a cackly voice.
"It's me, Little Red Riding Fish."
"Oh how lovely! Do come in, my dear," croaked the Wolf.
Red Riding Fish thought something was not right...
"Catie, what a large amount of hair you have!"
"All the more for you to brush my dear," he replied.
"Catie, what a smelly chode you have!"
"All the more reason for you to sniff it dear," he replied.
"Catie, what a white, hairless ass you have!"
"Damn, I am so &*$%ing tired of hearing that. I was born that way! Get over it!" another voice replied.
At this moment Fish realized that this girl was not a girl, but was instead the Wolf and his cohort Bag pretending to be her.
Fish was heartbroken. It did not last long however, as his sorrows were satisfactorily drowned in tequila and a power hour.
THE END
To counteract the horror that is those posts I will be scouring our old blog archives and selecting one post a week to share.
The first selection comes from the creator of Observe the Ownage. My favorite chode dragger, señor Baggins. All the way back from October of 2005.
Little Red Riding Fish
Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Kwicky who lived in a village called Louisville. Whenever he went out, the little boy wore a red fisherman's jacket, so everyone in the city called him Little Red Riding Fish. One morning, Little Red Riding Fish asked his mother if he could go to visit this girl he had met online.
"That's a good idea," his mother said. So they packed a nice basket for Little Red Riding Fish to take to this girl.
When the basket was ready, the little boy put on his red jacket and kissed his mother goodbye.
"Remember, go straight to Catie's house," his mother cautioned. "Don't dawdle along the way and please don't talk to strangers! The city is dangerous."
But when Little Red Riding Fish noticed a poker game being played along the way, he forgot his promise to his mother. He played a few hands, had a beer and a shot, and played a few more.
Little Red Riding Fish was owning the game so hardcore, that he didn't notice a dark shadow approaching out of the corner behind him...
Suddenly, the Wolf appeared beside him.
"What are you doing out here, little boy?" the wolf asked in a voice as friendly as he could muster.
"I'm on my way to see a new prospect who lives in Denver," Little Red Riding Fish replied.
Then he realized how late he was and quickly excused himself, rushing down the road to Catie's house.
The Wolf, in the meantime, took a shortcut...
A few minutes later, Red Riding Fish knocked on the door. The Wolf jumped into bed and pulled the covers over his nose. "Who is it?" he called in a cackly voice.
"It's me, Little Red Riding Fish."
"Oh how lovely! Do come in, my dear," croaked the Wolf.
Red Riding Fish thought something was not right...
"Catie, what a large amount of hair you have!"
"All the more for you to brush my dear," he replied.
"Catie, what a smelly chode you have!"
"All the more reason for you to sniff it dear," he replied.
"Catie, what a white, hairless ass you have!"
"Damn, I am so &*$%ing tired of hearing that. I was born that way! Get over it!" another voice replied.
At this moment Fish realized that this girl was not a girl, but was instead the Wolf and his cohort Bag pretending to be her.
Fish was heartbroken. It did not last long however, as his sorrows were satisfactorily drowned in tequila and a power hour.
THE END
posted by TheGraveWolf at 11:36 AM
4 Comments:
Oh the good old days when Bag did more than songs of the month... I miss those chode-dragging times. :(
It is good that this tale was revisited. IMO it can't be brought too much.
Great stuff Baggins. Thanks for digging it up Wolf.
A hilarious piece of work. I didn't know Bag had it in him! :)
We need a new post of the week!!!
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